I Pity…Terrell Suggs

I know I shouldn’t be complaining from my palatial basement about the monetary gifts due to the superstar athlete who entertains me and the rest of the world immensely.

But I think maybe Terrell Suggs is being a little petty, arguing over $814,000 and disputing the Baltimore Ravens’ franchising him as a linebacker and not, more lucratively, as a defensive end.

I mean, that’s only enough to buy this 2007 Rolls-Royce Phantom two-and-a-half times. It could only put Suggs and entourage up for, by my count, a little over four months at the Bellagio in Vegas. Hell, it barely covers these nice digs in upscale Melbourne Beach, Florida, in case he wants a house within an hour of NASA.

$814,000 is nothing, really. It certainly couldn’t help someone else, or anything like that. (It does, though, pale in comparison to his alma mater’s largest gift: Good for you, Ira Fulton!)

Nah, I stand behind Terrell Suggs. He’s a stand-up guy, after all, having never been convicted of anything.

Go get your money, Slugger.

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