ESPN’s Twitter Policy: Now With Real Fake ESPN!

"Kneel before" is an underrated phrase, really.

That PhotoShop with the platter is choice.

And the timer to Simmons making a “bow and kiss the ring” joke has begun.

ESPN’s Twitter Policy: Twittered Reactions From ESPNers

I loved Extraordinary Machine.

Kenny Mayne leads us off because he is funniest.

ESPN’s Twitter Policy: A Response to the Last Night of the Olney Dynasty?

Try to follow him!

The chronology:

1. ESPN’s new Twitter policy makes waves.
2. I learn that Buster Olney was on Twitter and try to find him.
3. I do, right here.
4. I learn that his account is suspended.

All in an hour’s time. Then I dig deeper.

ESPN Head: We Will Not Push Playoff

So I’m fiddling around on the ‘Net and I find this Orlando Sentinel article naming George Bodenheimer, ESPN’s president, the most powerful name in college sports. It’s a good write-up, but the newsworthy piece is this quote:

Bodenheimer said one thing ESPN won’t do is act as a catalyst for a playoff system in college football.

“Obviously, the decision on a college football playoff rests with the universities and specifically the presidents,” he said. “Obviously, we’re here to televise whatever format the presidents decide is the best one for their college system to play in, and that’s the role we’ll serve.”

It’s just a quote, obviously, and it’s cagey. Certainly, this doesn’t dismiss the possibility that ESPN favors either a playoff or the BCS, and it wouldn’t prevent the company from lending their heft to a couple of dedicated presidents as long as they weren’t seen as the driving force.

But that clearly isn’t a ringing endorsement for changing the system.

In other BCS news, Clay Travis on its legal standing is essential reading.

ESPN Headline Intern Pays Michael Jackson Tribute, Thrills A-Rod

I’m really not sure I should be awake right now. But I did get to see this:

Look there, at the bottom.

The article, probably this one, speculates about A-Rod’s future, and doesn’t mention Michael Jackson (rest in peace) at all. But that’s not the point, here, is it? Kudos to the person who threw that reference in there, and gave one media fixture a little respite from scrutiny in another’s titanic shadow.

I saw it, Alex. You are not alone. (Ugh.)

I really should be asleep.

ESPN, Scott Van Pelt, and the Advertising/Editorial Barrier

First, you must watch this video, for it is hilarious. (HT to NESW Sports for having it early this morning.)

It’s a wonderful bit of personality and a great ad for EA Sports’ upcoming Tiger Woods PGA TOUR 10. It’s where it is located that brings up something a little more troubling.

Bill Simmons Talks to Erin Andrews, Fun Ensues

The guy on the right? You care about him?

Perhaps it’s because it dropped at an odd time (my feed says 8:31 PM), or because it preceded a pivotal (and eventually excellent) NBA Finals tilt, or because it’s happened before, but Bill Simmons and Erin Andrews talked to each other on a podcast (right-click to save) and I didn’t even to turn it up to drown out the echo of a thousand bloggers rushing to transcribe every word.

Oh, wait. That’s my gig.

Some choice excerpts from this one:

Andrews: “Is your phone ringing while I’m doing this? That is so rude.”
Simmons: “That’s a party foul, I’m sorry.”
Andrews: “Wow.”
Simmons: “I forgot to unplug it.”

Simmons: “I like that you have the father-daughter thing. My daughter’s only four, but I would like to think that maybe she would like sports. I’m not going to force it on her, but if she does, I think that would be cool.”
Andrews: “It wasn’t forced on me. I just wanted to be around him. It just became cool, and a way to spend time with him.”
Simmons: “Yeah, but here’s the crucial thing, though: You thought your dad was cool.

Simmons: “Is there somebody you like?”
Andrews: “Um…I just don’t give up that information, because it’s the only thing I can control.”
Simmons: “It’s a good idea. I highly recommend that strategy.”
Andrews: “Bloggers would just kill that, and I just don’t want to let them. They’re gonna kill it regardless. They kill imaginary relationships that I have, I guess.”

And there’s more, on Twitter, on Dancing With the Stars, on Simmons not being able to quit Manny, and plenty more. Hit the jump for what amounts to a transcription.

Bill Simmons: Tweet and Delete

Was it good for you, Bill?

Sports bloggers have been waiting for the white whale of the Internet sportswriting community to join Twitter while it’s still white-hot.

That day has come: Bill Simmons is now on Twitter. But how did he get there? And did the Sports Guy say a little too much in losing his Twitter virginity?